Aug 17 2012

Dear new iPhone 4s..

  • Posted by: admin


Welcome to my life! I like you a lot. I’ve had many of you in the past, so don’t worry about dealing with a new user. I know that if I double-click the home screen all of your running apps will come up, and if I close out of them I’ll preserve your battery. I know that the same button that increases your volume can also take photos. I know that turning your location off will help with battery life, but also know that keeping it off will screw up maps and geo-tagging for my Instagrams.

Speaking of Instagram, I’d like to introduce you. It’s the reason I love iPhones so much, and I just downloaded the new version, so get ready to party! It has a “photo map” feature, which I was initially really jazzed about, but after playing around I’m upset that only 346 of my 1,113 photos have been tagged. Where did all my Europe pictures wind up? Prepare to figure that out for me.

You probably feel a little weird right now because you have 1,600 photos in you that you didn’t take. Blame the syncing process. If you want a fresh photo library, just give me to option to click multiple photos to delete at once and I will.

I’m grateful that you have all of my friends stored in you, it got our relationship off to a great start. You’ll be contacting the people in your favorites on the reg. If possible, please help me refrain from making phone calls and texting paragraphs to people who aren’t in that category after midnight. I tend to make a fool of myself and the next morning I’ll probably resent you.

I promise I’ll treat you better than my last iPhone, but please don’t be offended when I drop you. Take it as a compliment! I like you SO much that I can’t bare to put you away for even a second. You have to realize that it’s not entirely my fault. Not only does Apple make you so easy to break (no offense), but the cases are either protective and ugly, or adorable but don’t protect you at all. I have chosen and will continue to choose the latter. Once the heels go on and I have a drink or two, keeping you in my hand seems impossible, but I promise to try harder.

So, new iPhone 4s, thanks for being you. I know we will have a great life together.

Peace love and apps,




R.I.P. first iPhone 4s that I bought full price.

May 2012 – August 2012


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